LIFE'S A CLIMB.

sometimes i really wonder if what i am doing is right. getting so stressed over my exams, feeling guilty over not studying, thinking thinking thinking about it. whether or not i've actually been studying doesn't matter. because it has already taken over my life. its become like my "God". and i think that's just pure scary. scary scary scary.

DOOM.

i'm gonna have a breakdown soon, its hard you know. thinking of all the many many different subjects and the different topics and then the stress. its just that there's so much pressure to perform. though everyone's running their own race and supposedly competing against yourself, you still have the constant knowledge and thought in your head that you'll be overtaken, that people will be working even harder, and in the end reach the finishing line faster than you. i can't help but admit that being placed in such a competitive society, i've become competitive too:/

results aren't everything in the world, but somehow we can't help but make in the centre of our lives. was discussing this with camel and i guess he's right. its not the only thing that matters, but as students, the exams are the only thing really major in our lives. kinda the only thing that will help control our future. so i guess it is rather important.

coming to IP i just really really feel like a no lifer. i mean, i didn't even notice that it was the holidays. you know what i just thought about? 'NO SCHOOL, SHOULD HAVE MORE TIME TO STUDY" seriously. WHAT IS HAPPENING? but i geuss we can't help it. VJ is like a seriously reseults oriented place. sadly. the standard is so high but they're not going to lower it. they claim the teachers will help us reach the high standard. sigh.

i have 3 physics papers,
4 chem papers,
1 LA paper,
a lot of geog sample questions,
1 chinese paper
and 2 math papers.

it has hit me. each physics paper is 3hours long. each math paper is 3hours long. the LA paper is 4 and a half hours long. Each chinese is 2hours long. each chem is 2h15min long. adding everything up its kinda A LOT A LOT OF HOURS. hahahahah. so much for, let dawn be hardworking and do all! AHAHAHHAHAHA.

i can't help but admit that its tough. that sometimes i just feel like giving up. things get be so frustrated that i don't feel like doing the subject anymore, but i guess there's nothing i can do but strive on:D i have 20days left to the exams. if just because i'm fed up or whatever i am going to regret. 1 year of hardwork will go down the drain just because i'm not willing to just spend 3weeks mugging. i don't want to regret and think i didn't work hard enough.

on a lighter note thanks my awesome class:D hahaha. everyone's sending really sweet emails to encourage everyone! :D through the thick and the thin, we'll always have each other:D